i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
