Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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