Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize