we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
