That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
