Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize