if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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