After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
