i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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