I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
