i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
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