He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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