I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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