so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Operation Purity has been aborted
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
