I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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