I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
operation harelip BJ is a go
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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