Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
