He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
