I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis