Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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