so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
