i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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