you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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