I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize