i don't like sucking hair
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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