***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
