I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
