R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
