I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
