why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Randomize
