whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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