No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
