So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
