Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I checked into jail on foursquare
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
