i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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