so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
