I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
she told me i tasted like america
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
