I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I think I won the penis lottery.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
