I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
