I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
