I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize