4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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