dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Just high enough for therapy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Let's get the cat blown out
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize