if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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