So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
