Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize