Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
