mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
