I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
