This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
