Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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