WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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