literally had 100 drinks last night.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
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Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
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He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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