I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
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