I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
