Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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