does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
