Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize
