I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
